Saturday, 31 July 2004
Friday, 30 July 2004
It took some time to actually move to this new place. Been in xanga for quite sometime and I think it's time to move since I received many complains that they can't respond to all the sense and nonsense entered on my blog. You know, I actually didn't realise that. When I first started in November 2003, it was meant to keep my sanity at bay. It is more like a personal site. Now, maybe I'll just share my thoughts with all of you.
For a start.. I'll paste back all the entries made on xanga... Call it moving in process.. Read, enjoy, criticise, appreciate.. do whatever you want to do.. then we'll go to the development. How about that?
This is the sense and the nonsense of me....
Monday, 26 July 2004
No, not the experience of watching the movie.. not about the sound system, not about the storyline or even the special effect of the movie.. but it's about the sound effect made by the people 'watching' the movie.
Seems that, they were seating beside a couple who were making out during the movie. They describe it in detail.. the groan of the girl, the smell of sperm and kissing sound. Seems like the love plot is not enough on the movie that they have to create one on their own.
I mean, what the hell are they thinking? Aren;t they anywhere else you can have sex other than the cinema? And aren;t you ashamed of yourselves for doing it in the same room where there's many people and KIDS.. Come on.. where's your freaking mind for god sake?
My response to my 2 dear friend after listening to their complaint.. I bet this is another great work of Mat Rempit and his Girlfriend.. went out for a date with not much money in hand.. and decided to do it in the cinema since either one of their room at home is not good enough as the giy might live with 10 other budak bujang rempit and the girl might live with her mother... hahahahha
Whatever the reason is.. You must be freaking nuts to have sex in a full-house cinema... FREAKING STUPID ASSHOLES..
Sunday, 25 July 2004
More than anything else, we are attracted to individuals who look like we do, as well as share the same wealth, social status, and outlook towards family and fidelity, CNN and the Associated Press report of new research from Cornell University in New York. In other words, opposites do not attract.
Conventional wisdom has long held that beautiful women seek socially dominant men, while rich and confident guys look for the most gorgeous ladies. Turns out, that's not right. At least, if you want to make it last a lifetime. Instead, we should be seeking an ideal match--someone who is equal to us. And when we do that, marriage has the greatest chance of long-term success. The Cornell researchers say that when there are too many differences between couples, it causes instability. It's actually harmful to the marriage if we hook up with someone who is far better looking or has a much higher social status. Why? Years into the relationship, the person of higher status might be tempted to "trade up" to a better partner. There's much less chance of that happening between equals.
The Cornell study was based on questionnaires completed by 978 students ages 18 to 24 who were asked to rank the importance they placed on 10 attributes in a long-term partner. Then they had to rank themselves based on those attributes, which were:
--Wealth and status
Those who rated themselves highly as individuals were also more selective than those who did not think so well of themselves.
Marriages between similar matches are more common and have a far greater chance of success than marriages between opposites. Stop your search right now for the highest-quality partner. Instead look in the mirror and go find someone who looks and acts like you do. The findings were published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Scientists Monday.
Saturday, 24 July 2004
Then there's Mak.. or Arwah Mak.. an aunty who I missed a lot. A kampung aunt, who brought all her kids till all of them are successful people. An aunt who treated me like her own son.. teach me about life..praise me for my good deeds and scold me when I do the wrong things..
A superwoman in her own class..she not only take care of all her 8-9 childrens.. but taking care of my late grandfather as well even when he's already more than 90 years old at that time.
I still remember, it was her who took care of me when I fall from the top of a rambutan tree and sprain my ankle badly.. It was her who teach me independant by just giving me a list of things to buy at the market..(although till now, I still fail to remember fish name) ..went to the market alone.. buy all the things she wanted and walked back home with all the groceries..I was 7 years old at that time.
It was with her help, that my class project, a science scrapbook when I was at standrad 5 got an A. She brings me to our dusun durian.. clean up the place.. and pick each leave sample we got there and name them one by one. She tell me all about the leaves..what is it good for and how it affected the whole dusun..
Mak passed away while doing her Hajj. She's one of the victim of the Mina Tunnel incident in 1986. I cried when my mom woke me up to tell the news. It's like I'm not able to replay her for what she did. Not being able to show her how I'm doing now.
May Allah bless you Mak..
Friday, 23 July 2004
Jenis Darah Refleksi PeribadiAdakah jenis darah yang mengalir dalam tubuh kamu mampu menggambarkan personaliti sebenar diri kamu sendiri? Menurut salah sebuah institut di Jepun, kajian yang dilakukan ke atas jenis-jenis darah yang mengalir di dalam tubuh manusia ternyata mampu memberi gambaran terdekat mengenai keperibadian individu itusendiri. Ingin berkongsi rahsia mengenainya?
Individu yang memiliki jenis darah dari kategori ini disifatkan sebagai individu yang setia, sabar dan sentiasa yakin terhadap keupayaan dan kebolehan diri sendiri. Selain itu individu dari kategori ini juga sering bersifat ingin menjadi ketua walau dalam apa jua perkara yang ingin dilakukan khususnya yang melibatkan kerja-kerja berkumpulan.Sekiranya menginginkan sesuatu, kamu akan berusaha untuk mencapai matlamat tersebut walau dalam apa cara sekalipun. Ada kalanya kamu dikatakan memiliki sifat cemburu yang agak kuat. Selain itu kamu juga terlalu serius dalam persaingan sehinggakan ia mampu memberikan tekanan kepada diri kamu sendiri. Oleh yang demikian kamu harus lebih bijak mengawal emosi diri mu agar tidak dikuasai dengan tekanan.
Keharmonian dan keamanan adalah matlamat utama dalam hidup kamu. Kamu gemar melakukan kerja-kerja secara berkumpulan dan kamu juga gemar melibatkan diri dengan berpersatuan. Kamu bijak bergaul dengan individu di sekeliling mu dan ternyata mereka juga sentiasa berasa senang untuk bekerjasama dengan mu. Sikap sensitif, sabar, dan bertimbang rasa yang ada dalam diri kamu itu melambangkan bahawa kamu tergolong dalam kategori individu yang memiliki keperibadian penyayang. Walau bagaimanapun ada kalanya kamu agak degil dan terlalu kuat bekerja sehinggakan tidak mengendahkan langsung waktu untuk berehat. Kamu harus ingat, kesihatan juga perlu diutamakan. Jangan kerana terlalu leka dengan kerja-kerja kamu itu, kesihatan diri pula yang terabai.
Sempoi! Itulah ungkapan yang paling rapat dengan mu. Kamu lebih selesa dengan kesederhanaan. Dalam perhubungan pula kamu adalah individu yang terlalu jujur dan lebih gemar berterus terang dalam apa jua perkara. Dalam melaksanakan sesuatu tugasan yang diberikan, kamu lebih gemar melaksanakannya dengan cara kamu sendiri. Kamu adalah individu yang kreatif dan fleksibel, mudah bagi diri kamu untuk meletakkan diri sendiri dalam apa jua situasi mahupun kelompokgolongan tertentu. Kamu adalah individu yang bijak bersosial. Namun ada kalanya sikap kamu yang gemar berdikari dan tidak gemar meminta bantuan orang lain itu, mampu mendatangkan masalah buat diri mu dan sekali gus memperlihatkan kelemahan pada diri sendiri.Kamu harus ingat bahawa, tidak semua perkara kita boleh menyelesaikannya secara bersendirian.
Tenang dan bijak mengawal emosi, itulah keperibadian yang jelas terpancar dalam diri individu yang tergolong dalam kategori darah berjenis AB ini. Kamu juga sentiasa menghormati orang lain dan inimenjadikan individu yang berada di sekeliling mu berasa selesa untuk berdampingan dengan mu. Kamu juga memiliki sikap humor semula jadi dalam diri dan sentiasa bersikap menghiburkan dan ceria. Namun ada satu perkara yang harus kamu perbaiki dalam diri kamu itu. Kamu perlu lebih bijak dan berani untuk membuat keputusan sendiri. Jangan biarkan orang lain membuat keputusan untuk diri kamu sendiri.
Thursday, 22 July 2004
The one question still remains,in a journey of developing advanced human race.. Where did we left your heart?
We forgot that computers can never human. It will never have the abstract features of the heart. it will never have feelings.. and thus all info and data processed by the computer will always resulted in either one of the possible and definite probabilities... While humans, since with the heart and brain.. can result in more than just definite possible answers.. sometimes it result in a new answer which we never came across before.. some call it idea, some might call it findings.. others might call it creativity and so on...
Seems that we focussed on the quest in humanising the machine too much that we forgot to do service check on the unique machanics inside us.. Let's take some time-off and give a thought on when is the last time we check into our hearts.. our feelings and mend things that is not going right inside it..
We can never humanise the machine.. but at least we can save ourselves from mutating into one..
LET YOUR HEART SHOWS THE WAY..
Wednesday, 21 July 2004
Immediately when I woke up and while I don't feel the pain at my hip and kidney.. I got ready and went straight to the clinic. Told the doctor that I did found blood on my urine and I feel pain on my kidney. He got me some medicine to consume. 1 day MC.. and ask me to come back in 5 days time. By then we'll know whether I have a kidney problem or there's stone in my bladder or something else..
While that moment to come. I just hope eveything will be OK. I would not tell my parents about it and get them all worried. Thus, would not tell any of my brothers about it too since they are a bad secret keeper for such things to my parents. So, I'll just shut up from them, swallow the worries on my own and hope things will be OK... As for now.. I'm in the office preparing last week meeting minutes which I'm bad at and still need to get it done since it's my turn to do it.
If you haven't heard from me at all for over a week.. check my apt. Maybe I'm already dead for a few days without anybody noticing.. hehe
Tuesday, 20 July 2004
What's fun auditioning them? NO FUN.. it's work, work and more work.. and we're not looking for just talented singers.. they should not onlly know how to sing.. they should have personality, have character and have what it takes to be an entertainer..
So If you think it's an easy job to be the auditioner.. think again!!.. You might end up vomiting blood and go coma for another 3 months just because you couldn't stand anymore insults by the people to your ear...
Friday, 16 July 2004
You thought the fiery passion your partner had with an old lover was extinguished. But a nagging part of you suspects a spark might still belingering. Are you in danger of getting burned by an ex who's obsessed with rekindling an old flame?
Is the object of your affection afflicted with chronic mention-itis? As in, "You like pizza? Ohmigod, my ex loved pizza!" If you're hearing howmuch or how little you remind your sweetie of his or her ex, it could be that they're still smitten. The condition, fortunately, isn't terminal. But it does require some further testing...
Downplaying the Past
Your dude or dame is still in denial if they can't admit to how strong their feelings were or how much the breakup hurt. Someone with a healthy distance from their past should be able to admit to loving, losing and learning from it. If your sweetheart isn't up to that, they could still be lovesick.
Mr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde
One day he's super attentive, the next she's saying she needs her space. What gives? He or she is still bouncing along on the rebound if their feelings about you seem to go from highs to lows. Then there's the opposite problem...
Is he or she rushing into a Really Serious Relationship with you? A honey who's still haunted by past hurts may subconsciously try to recreate that old kind of commitment, even if neither of you are ready for it. Just say whoa.
Staying (A Little Too) Friendly
Your new baby is quick to reassure you that he or she has a great relationship with their ex. Oh, they really get along. In fact, they hang out all the time. Problem is, they're doing it without you. Unless you're privy to most of their get-togethers, you've got problems. It's hard to commit to a new relationship if you're still playing at being in one with another.
Thursday, 15 July 2004
Most of us experienced being in love and so do I.. my last relationship ended almost about 4 and half years ago. It is quite a long time ago and since then, it's all me, single and not attached.
Afraid to be in a relationship again? Maybe.. but I always believe in love and relationship. Just that the heart is taking a break from all that. Well, not as in not interested.. but more like letting fate taking its own course.. I'm not going to plan anything on that. They say in Malay, " Jodoh dan Ajal maut di tangan Tuhan" .. so I left it to God then..
But recently, I caught into this situation again.. after 4 years, suddenly I am attracted to somebody. It's been a while since I last actually attracted to anybody.. even the hottest babe could not get me to like them seriously..
But then come this girl.. We only met a few times.. She rarely goes out and sometimes it take a month or so before we could go out again. But something in her that makes me attracted to her. Something that makes me alive. It is her, that suddenly I become aware of my situation and motivated to be better.. not that she insist me on it.. just by being around her, knowing her and talking to her .. it lives me out.
So there you go.. I am in love with this girl. .. the problem is now.. will she love me back? Oh god, please not rejection.. I can;t handle rejection anymore...
Wednesday, 14 July 2004
I've been passing this story almost every other time of the year. I think it is a good story and it is something that once a while should be given a thought. Read it.. Hope you like it. - AMIR
The Tree, The Leaf and The Wind (3 sides of the story)
I really love the verse "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay". If you fall for somebody don't pretend that it didn't matter. Love is something that can't you can afford to have mind games. Quickly tell your love, you love him/her so.
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.
Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish.
I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day.
When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get
something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that
will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy,lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like me, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left.
The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away. It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree .
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.
Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell.During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.
Monday, 12 July 2004
Are you in Love? Are you????
Are You In Love With Someone?
When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them.
At that moment, you are in love.
Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone.
Then, you are in love.
Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are desperately waiting for the call!
At that moment, you are in love.
If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love.
When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the messages in your answering machine because of one message from that special someone, you are in love.
When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone.
Then, you are in love.
You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend", but you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.
While you are reading this page, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with that person
Tuesday, 6 July 2004
I was on my way to Melaka to meet a friend when suddenly my mom called in the middle of the day. She rarely calls in the day for anything.. I pick up the phone and heard her crying. My uncle had just passed away. He was ill and they was on their way to Batu Pahat.. suddenly just like that, he passed away.. leaving his beloved wife and a 31-year-old daughter.
I was shocked to hear the news, cut my meet with my friend short and without thinking twice dashed to Batu Pahat where his body will be buried later that evening.It was raining heavily along the highway, I could not drive any faster than 95km/h.. Visibility almost zero. I had no choice but to just drive no matter how long it takes to be there. Unfortunately for me, I missed it. The moment I arrived, they already buried the body.
Anyway, I'll pray..may you be blessed with all the heavens..Thank you for all your advise. Thank you for teaching me about audio system and electronics since I was a little kid. Thank you for introducing me to broadcasting..although you didn't say much about it.. but you did introduced me..Thank you Pak Mor.
AL FATIHAH.. HAJI MAHMOR BIN HAJI OTHMAN
Thursday, 1 July 2004
I was caught in a discussion with a writer friend of mine. She's writing an article on public acceptance towards people with different sexual orientation... i.e Homosexual and Lesbian. And was wondering how would I react to this topic.
Simply put, I do not agree neither promote homosexuals, but as far as I'm concern in this modern world... I have no right to say anything. Well, I do not hate the people with such orientation. Just the orientation is was too gross to accept.
Call me conventional, call me old-fashion to say so... but if there's many religion in this world which disagree and fight between one another on many issues but one thing in common.. all of the religion does not agree with such sexual orientation. Go figure..
There's a reason why God created Man and Woman in this world and being homo is not one of them.
Whatever it is.. I don't know how I did get into this discussion but at least I know my stand.
No offense...think.. and wonder.